In this day and age the spirit of comparison is constantly roaming the streets of our hearts, reminding us of how much better the other person is than us.

I struggle with this myself, “I’m good but she/he is better than me at________.”

The important thing to remember when this comparison thing comes knocking is that God gives each of us specific talents and different levels of calling.

Ephesians 2:10 says: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

The other person isn’t better than you, the level of their calling may just be different.

We are all enough for God, whatever our calling may be.

And he plans to use each and everyone of us for His Glory.

We all belong.

So stop trying to impress people or compare yourself to them.

One of my greatest struggles has been battling with insecurity, I hate to say it.

Up to recently I found myself taking time away from church and mid-week life group meetings because of feelings of not being enough.

I don’t know, I guess I just felt that I didn’t belong or I wasn’t good enough to be in that kind of environment.

Or maybe I was just tired, I think the first thing is what it was though.

Everyone seemed so committed and ready to serve while I was still trying to figure out what plans God actually had for me and if I was even up for the job.

Or if I was even qualified?

At this point it was like I started second guessing myself.

Also, I think I might’ve been second guessing God.

Are you sure I’m the one you’re looking for God? 

Because I think you’ve got the wrong number.

AM I SURE YOU’RE THE ONE I’M LOOKING FOR?

It can’t be me, that’s just how I feel sometimes, a bit like a fraud I guess, but I know that’s not true.

Recently I’ve been reflecting a lot on the song “As You Find Me” by Hillsong United.

Particularly the verse that goes,

“If You want my heart

I won’t second guess

Cause I need Your love

More than anything

I’m in

I’m Yours

Your love’s too good to leave me here”

Sometimes I think I worry about the details too much when I think God is trying to tell me that He’s already taken care of them.

He’s only concerned about one single thing, are you in or are you out? 

No details, no blueprint just trust.

Trust that He has everything sorted out in my favour.

I think that’s one of the most powerful

declarations that I’ve ever confessed, simply 

I’m in.

I don’t know all the details God, but I don’t have to because I’m in.

I’m not just in but I’m Yours, which means Your grace has got me and it will make me enough for who you’ve called me to be.

And that’s been so significant for me lately because it took away the pressure of not feeling enough; of feeling that I have to figure everything out myself; to have to walk this journey alone.

I’m not saying I still don’t feel like this at times.

What I’m saying is now I know who and where to go back to if I do.

I’ve been reading a book titled Unqualified: How God uses broken people to do big things by Steven Furtick.

Now I don’t know about anyone else but the title alone has got me. 

Unqualified??

What does that even mean?

Am I unqualified? 

If I am, is that a good thing? 

Can God still use me? 

Or do I need to fix myself first?-my weaknesses, my deficiencies, my insecurities.

A brief summary of how the title came about was he (Steven Furtick) was listening to YouTube when another pastor was asked, “What do you think of when you hear the name Steven Furtick?”

This was followed by a deep sigh accompanied by the word,“Unqualified.”

No explanation, nothing, just that one word- Unqualified.

Personally that’s how I feel about myself, that’s how I’ve always felt; for school, sports, with friends, life in general.

And if I’m completely honest with myself I’ve kinda always felt out of my depth.

But if you look at the Bible so many characters were “unqualified.”

But God still used them to do big things.

He never asked them to change; to try and feel enough.

He used them just how they were, He used those parts that people would have ruled them out for; the parts they tried to hide or were ashamed of.

Look at David for example; he must have felt completely out of his depth going up against Goliath.

I almost imagine him as he released the stone saying “well here goes nothing.”

His qualification did not match his situation.

But God used him anyway.

“God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.” -Christine Caine

In Jeremiah 1:4-5 it says that “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Why would God speak about me like this before I was even born, didn’t he know I would make mistakes along the way? 

Why would he want to use me out of all people? 

The thing is, God knew all of that already, He knew when He formed you, you would have weaknesses, insecurities, deficiencies, struggles.

But He has still chosen you.

And He will still use you for His Glory.

He says,“ it’s you I want, who I’ve always wanted, it’s you I love.”

It comes back to the question, are you in or are you out?  

 If I’m completely honest with myself, that question constantly pops up in my mind.

Am I enough? —for my school, my career, my relationships, for people, for God?

Is God enough? 

Will I ever measure up to the standards that have been set?

Whose standards am I trying to live up to anyway?

Who am I living my life to impress?

The answer to these questions can seem complicated but it’s actually quite simple.

Hailey Beiber said it beautifully, “You’re  enough because God created you”.

He took his time to form you and prepare you for what He has called you to be, so why wouldn’t you be enough for Him.

You don’t even have to feel like enough because He already is.

A common misconception is that God loves you because you are good. 

The truth is, despite our many screw ups, God’s love for us will never change. 

But that’s down to who He is.

God loves us because of who He is.

He makes us enough, and that’s something that we can never change.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). That’s a fact. But, Romans 3:24 says that we are made right by his grace.

I find it so amazing and comforting to know that God will love me know matter what.

That’s how that verse makes me feel at least.

Yes we have sinned, God doesn’t deny that and neither should we.

But he chooses to look past it as if we are completely blameless.

He loves us despite what we’ve done in the past.

Sometimes I forget that.

I often allow my past to determine my identity, and it’s looked quite dim sometimes.

I allow it to determine my worth, whether I’m enough or not.

Meditating on that verse (Romans 3:24) allowed me to realise that my past doesn’t influence how God sees me.

The verdict is that he loves me, and if he knows everything about me and still won’t change his love for me then I’m good with that.

And that’s enough for me.

As humans we’re always looking for someone or something to justify us or fill a “void”.

God’s already done that for us.

Nothing we do or don’t do can make us earn that, it’s totally underserved—that’s what I call Grace!

Grace will never be about what you can do but it’s about what God has already done.

His Grace makes us enough.

His Grace fills that void.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 it says that,

(9)But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (10)That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

What really stands out to me in these verses is that God welcomes our weakness and our deficiencies, you know, those things that make us feel like we are not enough.

I don’t know about you but I think not feeling enough is bad in itself, now God is telling you to brag about it, in other words to own up to it.

I believe he does this to show us that we can’t just get by on our own.

He uses it to show us that not feeling enough is not as bad as we think it is.

He uses our weaknesses to show us that what we’ve been searching for all this time was Him.

He’s teaching us to keep our eyes fixed on His power.

I believe that at the point where we feel that we are not enough, God is saying “I got you right where I want you”.

And no it doesn’t sound like when a villain says it in your favourite action movie.

I’m pretty sure it’s from the pure heart of a God who longs to fill that void in your life. 

A God who loves you so much that He desires to have a relationship with you. 

A God who would make himself enough just so you can feel more than enough.  

He sees you struggling and says “wait there I’m coming”.

He meets you just where you are, whatever situation you find yourself in.

Isn’t that awesome?!

I’ve lived a huge part of my life trying to impress people which truth be told has always left me feeling like I’m not enough or not worthy.

What I’m trying to say is that it always backfires.

Even with starting this blog, I delayed it for months because I was bombarded by negatives thoughts of not being enough.

What if I can’t give these people what they need?

What if I’m in way over my head?

What if this is all just a mistake and God didn’t really call me to do this ?

What if I’m not enough?

And I’m thinking. Don’t make me do this God.

I actually think God kind of likes this internal dialogue.

It lead me to realise that God never retracts his promises, so if He calls you to do something, best believe He’s given you more than enough to see it through.

In 2 Corinthians 9:8 it says -And God is able to give you more than you need, so that you will always have all you need for yourselves and more than enough for every good cause.

Not only does God give us enough, He sticks a couple cherries on top, giving us more than enough, more than we deserve.

Wouldn’t it be great if all of life’s decisions happened in the black and white moments 

Some life! 

But then what about those grey areas where the answers are not as straightforward as you’d hoped or the path isn’t quite as clear as you expected it to be

What then?

How do you then manoeuvre the space in-between?

This “in between” is often the place we find ourselves in 

The place where nothing seems to make sense or nothing seems to be going the way we “expected” it or even wanted it to go

And let’s be honest at this point we can find ourselves doubting whether or not God is actually with us 

It’s as if we we always expect him to justify his presence by him getting us out of tight spots 

What if in those tight spots God is trying to build your faith?

Also, what if he is trying to show you the magnitude of his Grace and his love for you?

Just because you can’t physically feel his presence doesn’t mean he’s not there 

This empty space can make you forget all the times that God came through for you when he didn’t have to 

It can make you forget that through all your past fires that He was the one with you through it all

He was the one standing next to you and guiding you 

It can make you forget the promises that He made to you long before 

We’ve all been there, at least I have 

We’ve all gone through or go through seasons of plenty and seasons of little 

We’ve all been caught in the middle at some point 

Struggling to see how God could bless us so much at times only to just leave us here in the middle 

In these times it’s important to remember that God promised us that he has a plan for us but he never said it would be easy 

In 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 it says that 

(8)We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; (9)persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed

The in between is not meant to destroy you 

It’s merely a transition into something greater, something more, a new season!

Yes, you may not understand why it’s happening but God is trying to build your character through it 

And one thing we often forget is that it’s okay not to understand and it’s okay not to have all the answers but we serve a God who has reason for everything you go through 

We serve a God who has all the answers 

And that should be enough

God may just be trying to tell you that in order for him to bring you into the purpose he has for you you are going to have to go through some “fires” and “storms” of life 

But he’s promised to always be with you 

To never leave you nor forsake you 

Don’t get me wrong he’s not always going to hold your hand through it 

But he’s given you all the tools you need to fight and persevere

No story ends in the middle 

The middle is usually where the climax of the story starts 

It sets the tone for how the story will pan out from there 

The “in-between” is your climax where God is setting you up to win 

He doesn’t intend to keep you there nor does he intend for you to be harmed 

You are just passing though 

Isaiah 43:2 says 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you

Even if the situation that you find yourself in isn’t ideal God will come through for you His way 

Notice the “His Way”, which means that he will be with you but not necessarily the way you expect it 

God doesn’t operate in the realm of what is convenient for you but rather what is he believes is right for you in that moment and for your life 

And that’s the definition of Grace

God’s Grace is all that we aren’t 

Even what we are, that’s all Him 

It’s what gets us out and covers that in between 

It’s that light in the darkness and that peace in the storm that fills that empty space in the middle despite our current situation 

To end, there’s a quote from Chris Davenport of Hillsong United that I’ve been meditating on:

“God’s Grace is not a reactionary force that comes into effect when we come short— it’s the breath in our lungs, it’s our next step, it’s our next decision.”